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Who Wants That Perfect Love Story, Anyway? - Reflection by Enyjé Sandoz

 


I want the perfect love story—but perfect for me.

There’s not one set love story; there’s not one ‘right’ way to do it. Each story is individualized. We are sold what things should look like, or we hear from these experts or people who found love and tell their stories, and we think that’s how it should be.

When in reality, as humans, we have over 8 billion different existences. Our love stories should be tailored to us and should be more about how we feel and the bond we share, rather than how it looks.

There’s a difference between standards and expectations. Standards are a direct reflection of one’s self-worth, whereas expectations are a projection. You never know what your story may be, but it’s about trusting yourself enough to know what is for you.

So, whether that be someone from the past returning (not necessarily an ex) or a new person you meet, the person you met two seconds ago, or the one you’ve known for 10 years— the way life unfolds is so unpredictable, you just truly don’t know.

This isn’t a matter of settling, diminishing one’s worth, or negating the qualities you’d like in a partner and within your relationship. Absolutely—1,000%, not.

It’s about finding a balance between rigidity and fluidity.

Rigid with your standards, but fluid with how it happens and unfolds. Again, standards are a direct reflection of how you view yourself, feel about yourself, and how you treat yourself—thus, not allowing anyone to treat you in a way that violates that. 

Expectations are a projection.

Expectations are our emotions and mind’s way of seeking out an unconscious or subconscious need that is truly ours to fulfill. The moment we place an expectation on an individual, another human being, we are outside of ourselves, and more than likely are seeking to control.

That’s why the saying, “Expectations are the highways to disappointment,” exists because it’s the truth! An expectation is a non-communicated distortion of reality that we place on another without their knowledge or consent.

That’s why when they don’t act in accordance with it, we are not only disappointed but we tend to use that disappointment to fuel our overall judgement of them as a person.

A standard, however, is about oneself. It’s firm; it’s where you are in control because your decisions dictate your reality. You don’t place your standards on others; you abide by them, embody them, and live by them.

I understand what Beyoncé was conveying through these lyrics—not necessarily ascribing to her story or anyone else's, but just the idea that the ‘perfect’ love story is just that—cliché. Meaning, it lacks originality. It’s typical. 

So, yes—who wants a typical ass, unoriginal, uninspiring ass love story?

That’s essentially what the lyrics are saying.

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