The Simplicity of Solitude - Sincerely, A Recluse by Enyjé Sandoz

If someone were to ask me, “Why are you single?”, my honest to God answer would be, “I have yet to meet a man worth exchanging or expending my solitude for.” 

Now, before any preconceived notions about being a love-romance hater or misandry get thrown around (definitely a trending topic on social media these days), I am by no means that. 

I love love. My favorite music genre is R&B; my favorite movie genre is RomCom. My favorite literary genre is romance. I love love as a concept. I love to see love. I love hearing and reading about people’s love stories. One day, I will be in love. 

But when I say I have yet to meet a man worth exchanging or expending my solitude for, it is the truth. 

More than I am a homebody, I am a recluse. I genuinely love being alone. I love being in my own world—my Instagram bio is literally, “it’s my world, you’re just a witness.” If I had to choose being alone or surrounded by people, it would not even be a choice. Just ask my family— they will tell you. 

I believe human interaction and connection are great, though it is all about how you frame it. You can make a human connection with a friend, romantic partner, family member, or a stranger. In fact, the older I get, (aside from my immediate family), the more I value fleeting connections. The reason is that they are some of the most purest, genuine interactions you may have, and the fact that they are fleeting makes you appreciate every moment. 

So, even if I am solo, I make it my business to remain open in my mind, heart, and energy to still interact with people as I am out and about. Believe it or not, I am actually more willing to initiate connection/interaction with strangers than people I know or have developed some form of familiarity with—interesting, gotta reflect more on that to see why. 

Perhaps, it is the minimization of pressure. Just simply saying, “hello, how are you,” is low stakes but still impactful. There’s no expectation for either party, and if the other person is not open to interacting, there’s nothing to take personally. 

While I don’t think this is avoidant in nature—it just might be (LMFAO), but I find one-off moments of someone asking me for directions or just striking up a brief conversation to be fulfilling. 

Back to the topic at hand… 

Every once in a while, I go through these spurts of craving romance. But after further thought, I am just craving to be passionate—my favorite state of being. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with craving romance—contrary to popular belief, it is a very human thing, I just know myself. 

As long as my mind is being stimulated and I can pour my energy into something that evokes that inner fire, I am happy. In other words, as long as I am not bored with my hobbies, I am good. 

So, while romance is beautiful, it’s not at the top of my priority list. If I am being honest, the idea of it is more tantalizing than the actual deliberate action of engaging with it. 

Recently, romance has been my latest distraction (not in a bad way, but more so in a “oh, life is not stimulating to me; I need a spark”— was I sparked? No, but my brain had something to toy with) in life. 

After my summer semester ended, two months of apartment/housing hunting, one very strenuous and unbelievable moving day (you do not realize how much shit you accumulate in 4.5 years until it is time to move), and the current reality of having to unpack all of this shit (being able to sleep in my bed after a week of being the female Harry Potter—I was not sleeping under a stairwell, but what I deemed the storage/supply closet aka my mom’s room which is housing a lot of the unpacked shit, due to my bed frame breaking during transit—I was getting a new one anyway, I am content and found some consolation), romance has been my little escape. 

Well, yesterday evening, I reached my annoyance limit with everything—moving and unpacking, my family (love them to pieces), romance, and just everything, and decided to purchase a movie ticket to see ‘Freakier Friday’ for today.

This wasn’t my first time going to the movies by myself—Barbie (2023) was my first solo movie, and One of Them Days (2025) was my most recent, but I often forget just how much I do enjoy going alone. 

There’s just this ease of going to grab my slushy (Red and Blue layered), heading into the auditorium, finding my seat, settling in, watching the movie, and then leaving. Quite literally, chef’s kiss. 

Thus, today, I went to see ‘Freakier Friday’—a very cute movie! 

As I was using the bathroom after the movie, I realized my desire for romance had been curbed. I felt refreshed, like someone had pushed the reset button on life. 

So, when I say, “I have yet to meet a man worth exchanging or expending my solitude for,” it is not shade or a dig on the male species, but merely a fact—my reality.